Horses Get Grumpy, Too

He had been ridden hard and needed to eat.  I was walking him to his stall when I realized he needed to cool off first.  I turned him around and tied him up to the fence while I continued to prepare for a client and an EAP session.  The time was ticking along and I decided it would be better to feed after the client left.

I brought in the other horse from the pasture and waited for the client to arrive.

We worked for about an hour with this client and at the end of the session as we were wrapping things up, my sweet palomino walked over to where we were standing and turned around, showing us his rump.  I moved all of us over just a bit and we continued talking.  In a few minutes he walked back over to us and turned around again.

After I moved the client and therapist over, I went up to his head to see what was going on, moved him over, and he eared back at me.  I think that is the first time he has ever eared back at me.

I know….I’m a little slow.  I found a halter for him and led him to a stall.  He nudged me several times on the way into the barn.  I’d make him stop and think about who was in charge and then continue on into the barn.  He had waited long enough and was ready to eat.  He was just a little grumpy.  I get that way too, when I haven’t eaten.  Just a little grumpy.

Horse Billiards

At my EAGALA training, I volunteered for an activity where several volunteers were needed.  I thought it would be great because there is safety in numbers…

We were given the task of placing all of the horses in a “pocket” without touching the horse or talking to each other.  We had to stay in line between 2 buckets of water and take turns, one at a time, 20 seconds for each person.

Everyone tried at least 3 times to get a horse in a pocket with no success.  I was ready for something new, different; something that might actually give us a shot at winning.  (No, it was not a competition, but that is how I was playing the game…)

I looked at some of the people in line with me to see if anyone else was willing to try something different and received some positive feedback, so I picked up the bucket of water and began to move.  I figured that if we stayed between the buckets, regardless of where the buckets were, we would be following the rules.  Inside I was struggling with the pull between doing what would be least upsetting and trying something that might actually get the job done.  I decided that I was the kind of person who thought outside the box.  I try things that are different and a little risky.  So….I took off carrying the bucket and tried to help the person who was out in the arena trying to get the horse in the pocket.  When I did that everyone else followed, but had no idea what to do to stay within the rules and play the game.  We all laughed so hard we could hardly  continue.  Some of the people didn’t like it at all because we hadn’t followed the strict interpretation of the rules.  I found it exhilirating and  empowering.

I think I have always bounced between following the rules/pleasing others and thinking outside the box/risking failure for success.  I felt like during that activity, I was announcing to the world that I now take the side of risk.  I love to solve problems creatively, especially with a fair amount of support.

Fascinating sutff!

EAGALA Day 1

I just finished my first day of EAGALA training.  I learned so much…

• rethink safety – it shouldn’t interfere with the client’s learning, it should be used to enhance it….no safety lecture?  learning about safety experientially???
• the meaning of the activity/horses should be derived from the client’s experience – what did it mean to the client?  It doesn’t matter what the horse was really doing…
• Ask good, open-ended questions – What was happening with the horses?  What was it like for you? Does that relate to your life/other relationships?
• Phrase thoughts with – I was curious… or I was wondering….
• The completion of the task doesn’t matter, it’s the process that matters
• Trust the process, trust the horses
• Don’t worry about missing something, if it is important, it will come up again.
• Observe and then share observations — not opinions
• follow the client’s lead

Wow!  I think there is a lot here.  My mind is full.  I have many thoughts rambling around inside my head.

Steps of Learning

I met a man yesterday who is involved in research at Los Alamos. He is the past dean of  the college mathematics at one of the universities in Arkansas.  His research has included teasing out the learning sequence of the brain.  One of the steps in learning is “feeling” or emotions, character, perhaps you could even call it social.  The research showed that this was the step that was most often missing in students they tested who are at risk.  EAL could address this component of learning.  I am going to see what I can do to get a look at this research.

Experiencing the Power

One of the greatest things I received from my first training was to actually experience a moving activity with the horses.  I have been deeply touched by horses all my life, but to experience it in a way that I will be facilitating is vital to my impact on others.

I was a part of a 3-person team that had the task of grooming a horse.  However, the rules were:

1. Link arms
2. The person in the middle was the only one who could talk
3. The person in the middle could not use her hands
4. The 2 outside people could not talk
5. The 2 outside people could only use their outside hand
6. The 2 outside people are blindfolded

Wow!  We were working on the issue of trust and this was an activity towards the end of our trust building.  I would not have been comfortable if this had been an early activity, but after building trust with each other, this task was perfect.  It was still a challenge, but worked well.

I was surprised at my level of trust in the middle person who could see.  It was a safe place for me to be…trusting another.  This rings true in other areas of my life – marriage, work, friends, children.  I have a high level of trust.

This level of trust was challenged by high need for safety.  I am not a daredevil, to say the least.  I was able to release my need for safety and concentrate on my ability to trust.

How I would like for this to transfer to my relationship with God.  Trust him.  Depend solely on him.  My safety is in him alone, not in my ability to foresee danger and avoid it.  He is my stronghold.  In his hands, only, am I truly safe.

Taking the Risk

I entered the barn with anxiety and excitement.  People slowly began arriving.  I wasn’t sure I would fit with the group, but the warm, friendly faces removed that concern.

We began with introducing ourselves to each other.  I think that was the first time I didn’t mention my husband and children during an introduction of myself.  Not sure how I feel about that.  The introductions were framed with “Why are you here?  How did you arrive at the decision to be involved with EAL?   I went towards the end of the group and just followed the flow.

Next we circled up with 2 other people and were given 4 questions to answer to get begin building community.  One of the questions had a big impact on my time at KLC.  “How much of a risk are you willing to take?”  I decided that I having come 14 hours, I was willing to risk a lot.  I thought about that every time an activity or question presented itself.  I am more comfortable letting others answer and participate unless there seems to be a void.  This time I was more assertive in the training.  I was fine to volunteer, answer the questions, take feedback.  It wasn’t always pleasant to be in the hot spot; it felt a bit warm at times.  But oh…I learned a lot.

Because I was willing to risk more than usual:

• I found it kind of fun…take a challenge, do it imperfectly, and be okay.
• I learned I am quite content and feel safe in a partnership.
• Being safe is too high a value for me.  I need to redefine safe.  Safe does not equal comfort or lack of a challenge.
• My impulse to rescue people from a tough spot emotionally and physically needs to be checked.

I was moved by the acceptance of the others in the group.

First Training

I’m in my hotel room waiting to begin the first training.  I’m so excited about this work.

I’m also really nervous!  What if’s are crowding my brain and taking my confidence.  Is this really something I could do?  Will I get it?  Will I connect? What if I don’t?

Once I put on my old, broken-in boots, I should get come confidence back.  I will feel like myself and settle down.

The Power of the Horse as Partner

The horse is such a powerful partner because of the immediate, overt feedback that a horse can give.  A horse will react to people’s emotions.  Have you heard someone say to not be scared around a horse because he can tell if you’re scared?  It is that principle at work in EAL.  A horse can sense one’s emotions.  A horse not only senses emotions, but responds to them.

If a person enters into a relationship with a horse timid and scared, a horse wil respond directly to the timidity. If a person is aggressive and angry, a horse will react to that as well. The confident, sure and sensitive person will have a completely different response from a horse.

People not only see themselves mirrored by the horse, but they can practice healthy relationship skills and watch the horse change his response.

Tomorrow I begin a training in the field of Equine Assisted Learning.  I have so much to learn.

Timeline

1980 – First realized that horses were great metaphors for education, parenting, and learning in general.

2005 – Learned about an organization that certified professionals to work with people using horses as partners for emotional healing and personal growth.

March 3, 2009 – I first mentioned something to my program director about EAL and he hadn’t heard anything about it, but was completely supportive of my investigating it further.

April 14, 2009 – My director approached me and said to send him a proposal. He had been asking around about it and thought it had potential.

April 17, 2009 – I began working in earnest on a proposal for EAL.  Discussed this with the dean of our school of Ed and received his support.

April 22, 2009 – Sent in my proposal and received a thumbs up the same day.

April 23, 2009 – A superintendent from an area school dropped by my office and after discussing EAL with him, asked to include his school and make them our guinea pigs.  He said he would bring his students to my farm for learning.

April 23, 2009 – A professor from the educational counseling department offered to send interns to our farm with the high school students to help facilitate the learning this fall.

Future important dates:

May 31, 2009 – Take part in a training for facilitators in Birch Run, Michigan.

June 25, 2009 – Begin certification by EAGALA in Lubbock for Equine Specialist

September 17, 2009 – Complete Level II training for EAGALA in Lubbock

Late September 2009 -  Begin working with area high school’s ALE students using EAL

I am overwhelmed by the open doors and a bit anxious about the responsibility.  I’m looking forward to the training and support that I will receive during these trainings.

Parents, Teens, and Horses

In a round pen:

1. create an obstacle course for a horse that includes:

• something to go around
• something to go through
• something to go over

2. convince your horse to complete the course with out leading him through it

Those were the instructions that we gave a group of teens and their parents this weekend at a retreat.  There were about 60 people there.  We had several other similar activities as well.

The point of these exercises was to better understand one’s self through the interaction with the horses.  Horses mirror people’s emotions and respond accordingly.  In these situations, families are put in real conflict and problem solving situations.  It is an opportunity to grow and learn about each other and about one’s self through reflection and metaphors.

The day was really hard for me.  It was loaded with meaning and importance.  I wanted so much for it to work and be worthwhile and even “Wow” the people who participated.  Maybe it was, maybe it did.  But I didn’t experience the high I expected.

It was sobering.  So much work.  So many variables.

We loaded up our 4 horses on Friday and drove up to Camp Tahkodah. After we got the horses situated Friday night, we went down to camp for a few “get acquainted” games. Then to bed around 11:00. Got back up about 8:00, ate breakfast, and then back to check on the horses and start preparing for Saturday’s activities.

Horses plus 60 people sounds like trouble. So I was a little anxious. Actually…a lot anxious.

After an entire day of activities with the horses including a trail ride, I saw the last person go down the mountain to the camp grounds…I breathed a sigh of relief. No one had gotten hurt. Goal number 1.

I go for trainings this summer to Michigan and Texas and will be much more equipped to provide these experiences for others. I feel so green at this! The field of study is called Equine Assisted Learning and I will begin certification this summer as an Equine Specialist.

This has been brewing in my mind for several years and is finally coming together. The rationale for using horses to help people understand themselves and each other is that horses accurately and honestly reflect peoples emotions. You may have been told before to get up on a horse and ride, but don’t be scared or the horse will know it. This takes that tendency of the horse to mirror one’s emotions and allows people to be cognizant of themselves. When a person changes his emotional reaction and then behavior, the horse immediately responds. It is fascinating to watch.

Scott and I spent a session on Saturday night, after horse experiences all day, with just the parents debriefing the activities and how it relates to parenting. Nearly every family unit commented on what they learned during their time working with their family and the horse. The following is a sampling of some of the comments during the debriefing.

• With the horses you could actually see the parenting principles working.
• I realized I am really controlling.
• With horses, time doesn’t matter. How long it takes to get a task accomplished, is irrelevant. You have to stay with them till you’re done.
• Horses want a leader…someone who is confident.
• You can’t make a horse choose to do something. You make it very uncomfortable to choose the ‘wrong’ thing.
• There were times when I didn’t understand what was being asked. Sometimes I expect my children to understand what I mean without much explanation.
• Patience.  Working with horses takes lots of patience.

They seemed to connect the day’s experiences with their own parenting journey, practice new ways of relating, and reflect on ways to improve their relationships. Goal number 2.

These parents want to be close to their teens and help them make the right choices. We have so little time with them. By the grace of God, we raise them to be disciples of his.

Hopefully, this weekend and all of the activities that we did will help parents to be closer to their teenagers and understand some of the dynamics that are present in their homes.

EAL is an emerging field with loads of potential.  I’ve got a lot to learn. This is going to be exciting.